Posts tagged: Ash

Ironically... You need to do it for you

When you’re the founder of a tech startup, your spouse will probably feel lacking in what your business demands from you most: time. You run into the frequent decision to sacrifice your time for your business, your health, or your family. You can’t choose them all. Every minute of every hour must be dedicated to one thing.

Unfortunately, family often gets the short straw.

I have some counterintuitive advice: whatever you do to ease the pain of neglecting your family, it is important that you do it for yourself - not for them.

Often we may want to point out to our significant other the amount of sacrifice we’re making for them:

‘Have you noticed? The last week I took more time off work to give you more attention.’

‘I just wanted to point out that I’m giving up work to be here right now.’

‘Going on another vacation... Remember that I miss work every time we go.’

Don’t. Stop it. You’re not helping. You’re making it worse. Your spouse wants you to want to spend time with them. When you make it a sacrifice to be with them you’re sending the opposite message. You’re saying: ‘I’d rather be at work right now, but I know you need me to babysit you.’

Stop expressing that you wish you could spend less time with them by reminding them of what you’re giving up.

If anything, express the opposite feeling. You enjoy your work. But make sure you express to your spouse that being away from them in order to work is the sacrifice. Let them know that you miss them and wish you could spend more time with them.

The best thing about being self-employed is also the worst thing: you don’t report to anyone but yourself. When you’re not there nothing gets done. But that doesn’t mean you always have to be there. You get to define when you work and when you don’t work.

Take time off with your family because you want to - do it for you.